The Ohio Sci-Fi and Horror Marathons

Someone mentioned there were positive reviews of this movie and here is a link of both positive and negative reviews.

http://www.metacritic.com/film/titles/automatons

My favorite might be:

Automatons is what happens when "Eraserhead" and "Tetsuo the Iron Man" bong themselves into oblivion and collaborate on a minimalist avant-garde sci-fi cheapie shot in a toolshed.

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The wages of sin are royalties.

Okay, so here's my minor AUTOMATONS rant.

First of all, I'm slightly offended that Bruce thought it was a movie that "one of you guys might make." Is that what Bruce thinks of us? Does he really think that a marathon regular might make an uncreative pile of left wing propagandized crap like that?

TETSUO and ERASERHEAD comparisons? Give me a break. Love them or hate them, those films are creative and experimental. Maybe the pacing is what draws comparisons. But ERASERHEAD was paced deliberately for creative reasons. I have no idea why the "filmmakers" of AUTOMATONS chose to draw out their miniature battles to the point of tedium. AUTOMATONS is about as straightforward as it gets, not experimental in any way, amateurish, and preachy.

Ok, I'm done.

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Aliens? Us?
Is this one of your Earth "jokes?"

If only Angus Scrimm would have said "BOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYY" one time it might have been worth it.

Joe and Bruce you should really try to get a good 35mm print of PHANTASM for this years Horror Marathon and get Angus Scrimm as special guest because it's obvious he will work FOR FREE!!!

Worst movie in Marathon History!!!

Below is what I posted on IMDB:

Ok I can't believe I am wasting 3 more minutes of my life on this movie but I felt the need to warn everyone. This "movie" played at the 24 hour Sci-Fi Marathon in Columbus Ohio on April 14th and no one and I do mean no one, not one person in the entire theatre of about 300 people liked any thing about this "movie" at all. I know the phrase "Worst Movie Ever Made" gets used alot on the internet but really this one is it, I will never use the phrase "Worst Movie Ever Made" again when referring to any movie other than this one. You can comment on this post all you want because I am never coming back to check on it, I have wasted to much of my time on this "movie" already.

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I have to agree with that review. Fortunately all of the other movies were much better.

I also liked, "With its hypnotic pacing, blatantly nonsynchronous sound, clunky robot costumes, and graphic but unconvincing violence, the movie falls flatly between camp and art-house pretension." from Chicago Reader.

Not to mention, "BORING!"

Jeez. Compared to everyone else, it seems like I loved it. I agree that it was bad, but I didn't think it was horrible. I think maybe it was just a little too avant-garde for an event like this. It needed to be a little more fun. It was definitely the low point of an otherwise fantastic marathon.

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Keep reading my reviews on HollywoodBitchSlap.com

And oh yeah, go check out my new film blog, GarageSaleCineaste

Had AUTOMATONS actually been "avant-garde" as you say and the online blurbs suggest, I may have actually enjoyed it.

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Aliens? Us?
Is this one of your Earth "jokes?"

I still think it was avant-garde. It just wasn't good avant-garde.

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Keep reading my reviews on HollywoodBitchSlap.com

And oh yeah, go check out my new film blog, GarageSaleCineaste

Moreover, I'd go so far as to say it was ABYSMALLY BAD avant-garde.

I'm normally hesitant to be this critical of a movie, but frankly I think this one deserves it. Usually I can carry something away from my time watching a film, but this one was just plain dreadful.

The object lesson of the day, boys and girls, is that filming your droning, subterranean-budget, rock'em-sock'em robots polemic diatribe in "Epileptivision" does not make you edgy, creative, brilliant, or avant-garde ... it makes you annoying.

But hey, that's just my opinion .

"We now return to 'Battling Seizure Robots', already in progress ..."

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David A. Zecchini; Creature of the Wheel, Lord of the Infernal Engines
"Damnati Im Ludum" (VitruvianZeke@att.net)

Dude, the heart stopping drama of the RADAR screen shots still have chills going up and down my spine.

Not to mention the long, slow shuffle of the imperialist robots.

Okay, I'm not defending the movie, because I can't honestly say I'd recommend it to anyone else, but as a marathon choice, I liked it just fine. I mean part of the problem with premiers is that not many people have had a chance to weigh in on them and judge their value. I'd hate to see future marathons passing on potential premiers because they weren't certain to play well. And I'm not certain it didn't play well. Long, torturous, and repetitive, yes, but I do believe that just made some folks enjoy ripping into it all the more.

Wait...I thought we all LOVED Automatons! There was THUNDEROUS applause at the end when the credits ran!! (That's how the spin doctors would report it)

I agree, Zekestrom...I can usually take something away from a film, no matter how bad it appears. I'm the eternal optimist sitting there, holding out hope, because I don't want to think someone would waste their time and money making something that had no redeeming value whatsoever. Actually, I can't remember a film in recent memory that I just hated. This one fits the bill nicely. I realize I could have left the theatre at will, and it's my own fault, but I wanted to believe it was in the lineup for a reason. I just don't understand.

I can't even look at a salt shaker.

-Ryan
(Sanctuary)

I have to say that Automatons in many ways is why I love the marathons so much. Sure it was an awful movie for every reason cited before. But where else would you ever see a movie like this and sit through the entire thing as the snarking reaches a fever pitch. I laughed so hard at the very fact that we were watching something so over the top preachy and cheap and silly. Lighting matchbox cars on fire in the parking lot would have been more fun than that movie.

As someone that works in the film industry and did hard time in film school though, I did try to give it some props at first. I thought to myself that if someone had made a 5 minute short like that in Freshman film class, I'd be impressed by their ingenuity. For the first half hour I gave it an A for effort and a D for execution. But when it got to the 20 minute "battle" I had lost all patience and forgiveness for this tripe. It became the kind of thing Freshmen film students giggle about making between bong hits but then forget about before making their tedious man/woman/coffe shop shorts. Juvenile at all levels.

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"I came here to chew bubble gum and kick a**. I'm all out of bubble gum."

I completely agree with everyone who said that as far as being a Marathon movie, it was great. I had no problem with it.

The comments people were making were HILARIOUS. I don't know who it was behind me that said something awesome during the incredibly tense "Boot tying Scene" to the effect of "Watch, in suspense as people tie their boots!"

That was exactly the kind of stuff that this movie deserved.

You know, thinking about it now, it was so bad it almost makes me want to own it.

It didn't top The Apple though. That movie is just incredible. SPEEEEEEED!

But as somebody said, Bruce saying that 'this is the kind of movie (we) would make" turned out to be quite a backhanded complement, eh???