The Ohio Sci-Fi and Horror Marathons

Just thought I'd throw this open to folks to muse about the current Movie Theater Experience. From Digital vs. Film to Cell phones and texting to faux Imax to 3-D surcharges etc.

My opening salvo - Food in theaters.

I'm not talking about the usual Popcorn and Soda - --although, I find it amazing how some people can literally INHALE a bag of Popcorn as if it were going to be seized from them if they stop eating it to even catch a breath! ---

No, what I am referring to are moviegoers who eat full sized MEALS. Some of the deluxe theaters out there now offer a large array of foods - everything from Nachos to Burritos to Pizzas. Then, there are the 'bag ladies' who bring in a grocery bag of food, wrapped sandwiches and VERY NOISY plastic bags of what have you.

A candy bar or a bag of popcorn are one thing, but some of these happy meal folks act as if they were stuck under a rock for 127 Hours - they have to eat NOW, and a LOT! It's a two hour experience, people! You can go without 1,500 Calories for a coupla hours?

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Long Live the Orson Welles Cinemas

Uhm, what if you can't? I know that when my wife and I go out for dinner and a movie, the amount of time we can get out of a babysitter is often very limited.

As a result, we often will choose to go to a theatre where we can combine the two. Now, when this is the case, we will usually pick a theatre where this is their focus - a place like Movie Tavern, where having dinner during the film is explicitly a part of their set-up.

But, for instance, last week, we had preview passes to see Tangled. It was a 7:30 showing, and my wife and I both left work and drove immediately to the theatre, without having time to stop home or anywhere for dinner.

The theatre served Uno's Pizza - and if we hadn't eaten there, we wouldn't have had dinner until after 9 o'clock.

Needless to say, I was very grateful that I was able to have dinner in the theatre.

I'll agree that trying to be quiet and respectful is essential, but I don't have a problem with people eating meals during a film. In fact, I find that a little less disturbing then the folks who get the super jumbo sized popcorn, three boxes of candy, and a slurpee.

I can see that point, although I would rather 'Dine In' screens remain separate. As to the "..folks who get the super jumbo sized popcorn, three boxes of candy, and a slurpee." They fit into the apparently starved folks I opened the discussion with!!

The same - and even MORE so - applies at the marathon! I've seen folks seemingly devour full meals of junk before the start of EVERY movie during the afternoon and evening! You'd think they were going into hibernation right after the 'thon for all the food they are putting way. I mean, you're SITTING IN A CHAIR for 24 hours - how many calories are you really burnin'???

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Long Live the Orson Welles Cinemas

Eating is one thing but the main issue in any movie theater going experience is the ever growing mass of people who have no respect for themselves let alone anyone else so they spend the whole movie talking on their cell phone, talking to each other and texting.

I went to see 'Paranormal Activity 2' and there was a group of kids sitting next to us talking, in normal voices not whispering, and I told them to be quiet and they gave me attitude, shortly after that 2 ushers came in and stood along the walls for the rest of the movie...I was glad the theater realized the problem, and took stops to resolve it.

I have a couple real life solutions to these issues:

1) I think theaters should install cell phone signal jamming devices to eliminate that distraction, now some people will say "what about the Doctors that are on call and might get an emergency call" Well I say if your a Doctor and your on call DON'T GO TO THE MOVIES!!! I mean seriously what did Doctors do before Pagers and Cell Phones??

2) Pass a law that makes it legal to use Tazers on idiots talking during a movie...Thats Right I say we ZAP these idiot punk kids who won't shut up, a couple good ZAPS and maybe they will start to learn.

When it is costing me $50.00 to go to see a movie I expect to SEE and HEAR the movie and not have to listen to the drama in some idiots pathetic life

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Jaws3dfan®
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The unintended consequences of RESERVED SEATING. Some theaters are now offering Reserved Seating. Of course, these tend to be the higher end theaters, with higher end Prices to match!

Sure, it's great to go online and pick out your exact seat. But, there are a couple of unintended consequences to this.

The late arrivers. Folks figure they have reservations so they can show up whenever they damn please. It's one thing to have the trailers interrupted by folks showing up and then having to cross through whole rows to get to their seats, but now, I've noticed that people take into account how long the trailers are before arriving. They see a 7pm starting time, figure in 10 minutes of trailers and show up at 7:10 and THEN try to find their seats. If they mis-time the length of the trailers, the movie has already started and they're climbing over you to get to their seat. In the dark nobody can see so who knows exactly which seat is B12? And, since the movie already started, people slide over to an empty seat etc etc.

The strategic bookers. I've noticed this trend in particular as of late. You get to the theater and try to find a good seat. But, all the seats right up the middle have been taken. Further, folks leave a one seat 'gap' between parties, so you can't get two seats together except way off to one side or in the front row. Plus, it's not unheard of for people to book seats and then not show up for that particular showing and then exchange them at the box office. I've been to more than one "sold out" show only to find out there were several empty seats because people have switched out the showtimes.

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Long Live the Orson Welles Cinemas

Some of you have probably heard this, but, it's hilarious - and true - a theatergoer goes nuts after being tossed for using their cell phone at the Alamo Drafthouse in Austin:

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/24/busin ... .html?_r=1


and the video uncensored:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1L3eeC2l ... ure=relmfu


Would LOVE to see this policy put in NATIONWIDE!

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Long Live the Orson Welles Cinemas

THIS IS GREAT!!

Every theatre needs this policy!!

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Jaws3dfan®
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I just got back from seeing a PG-13 rated film on the second day after it opened with my well-behaved 8 year old son. There were surprisingly quite a few VERY young children there, despite the overwhelming amount of family friendly content available, but whatever.

I was in the front row of the tiered seating area, with the walkway in front of us. Behind me was a couple with two children, one probably 4 or 5, the other 5 or 6. There were minor disruptions, but nothing too distracting. Here's the setup: when the trailers began, the kid said a couple times "when is the movie starting?" Then, a good ten minutes into the film I hear "Daddy, has the movie started?" I kind of chuckled, and the parents were doing a decent job of maintaining order and such. Like I said, not really a big deal.

Until... a good 90 to 100 minutes into the bloated running time the kids were obviously restless. Seats were kicked and the noise was starting to be a distraction. I gave the "glance behind" maneuver a few times before finally shushing the row behind me because the adults were doing nothing.
The response I got was: "He's a kid!"

I did not respond to this, but my angry thoughts were "Yeah, he's a kid. A kid that needs to be shushed!" along with "It's opening weekend and the movie's rated PG-13 you douchebag!"

About ten munites later, the kid was escorted out by his father, never to return. As they passed in front of me, I was given a stare down and the guy said to me "You need to grow up!"

Are you effing kidding me!?!

P.S. Hands down the best Transformers movie and some of the best special effects I have ever seen (but don't go in expecting anything more than a surprisingly good Michael Bay movie...I'm just sayin').

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Aliens? Us?
Is this one of your Earth "jokes?"

Despite the PG-13 rating, most parents will still look at TRANSFORMERS as 'kiddie' material (and Bay's...uh...intellectual level IS that of a child). But, I get your point.
I've gone to matinees for animation films which end up being like a screening at a day-care center! There's more popcorn on seats, the floor and places you wouldn't think physically possible than in the tyke's stomachs! Whenever I can, I go and see Pixar films late at night to avoid the mess and noise.
But, kids will be kids. The parents are to blame.

The worst I ever saw was at the Halle Berry-Billy Bob hard R-Rated MONSTER'S BALL (how it avoided an NC-17 I do not know). Nasty sex scenes combined with the foulest of language and racial slurs and yet, this young couple next to me decided that a babysitter was too expensive. So, they took along their two 5-6 year olds! A more inapropriate film for two kids, you will rarely see. Of course, the kids had absolutely NO INTEREST WHATSOEVER in the movie. So, they spent the two hours roving around, jumping in their seats, napping, talking etc.. And, though they were given the stink eye throughout, the parents didn't care. They had saved their babysitter money and got to see Billy Bob and Halle get it on.

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Long Live the Orson Welles Cinemas

So, I go to a small arthouse film. Afternoon. During the week. Theater is a bit better attended than I expect. Usually, a good thing. I walk in and there's a group of seniors talking away loudly in some vaguely Middle Eastern language. They act like they own the place - like it's THEIR living room. Ads and commercials are running, so no big deal. The trailers begin. Half the group splits up and moves further back. Two of the blue hairs remain in the row behind me. They keep yapping - loudly, like they are trying to talk OVER the trailers.
As the trailers end, they clam up. Until the first plot point hits. Yap-yap-yap-what just happened? Why? The first SH'S! Are shot that way. Doesn't matter a wit. Every plot point - more Yap! Yap! Yap!
Just then, a couple shows up. The movie has started, and it's dark. Another elderly couple. The man has a cane. He sees some empty seats in the row behind me. Do they walk around front and enter from the other side? Of course not. They stumble over everybody in my row and THEN walk into the next row. Of course, right behind ME. And, of course, the first thing the man does is put down his cane - SMACK into the back of my chair! Then, they think the seats are too close. They move back another row.
As that is going on, you guessed it...some old guy's Cell Phone goes off! Loudly. He runs out of his seat and heads...for the exit? No! He runs towards the movie screen figuring most people are seated towards the back - talking all the way. Finally, he realizes that this won't be a short call and stumbles out the exit.
Meanwhile, me and others keep shushing the Middle Eastern blue hairs. They do lower their voices, but, they learn a new "tactic" - only talk when something fairly loud is going on in the movie!
The Cell Phone guy returns. He sits down....and, yup, seconds later the phone rings again!
Fast-Forward to the last 40 minutes of the movie. A literal Bag Lady rolls in with her cart. She remains fairly quiet for awile, save for, you know, her BAGS! The bags are plastic and, contain food, of course. So, she has to scrunch and handle and play with her bags as she takes every bite. Then, during the last 15 minutes of the movie, the Bag Lady decides that NOW is a good time to start SORTING RECYCLABLES! Yup, let me put my dirty cans in one bag, my bottles in another. Oh, and I have cardboard?! Let me RIP THEM INTO SMALLER PIECES so they fit in my cart!
Mercifully, the movie finally ends. I have a splitting headache from all the distractions. Several of us are giving stink eyes to the Blue Haired Middle-Eastern couple. The guy with the Cane walks over towards them glaring. I swear -- for one split second -- that he was going to bonk them over the head with it!

So, while we all usually complain about "kids" and "teens" with their talking and texting, I find that it's really Senior Citizens that can be the most annoying. Plus, you kind of expect a louder noise level at action, comic book and roudy comedies that younger filmgoers attend. But, some of these older folks act like it's a private screening!

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Long Live the Orson Welles Cinemas

Has it come to this?

I'm at a quiet Foreign Language movie. The guy next to me gets bored and whips out his cell phone and starts cruising the internets. A few minutes later he starts texting. I always give folks ONE cell phone text - there may be an emergency, kids to check up on etc. Fine. One.

A few minutes later, he starts texting back and forth again. I tell him to please not text any more. Without pause he shoves his middle finger right in my face and yells, "F#ck You, A$$hole! I'll do what I want, when I want!"

So, we've gone from talking and using your cellphone in a movie theater is wrong, to I'm an A-hole if I ask the offender to stop?

P.S. I guess I'm lucky he wasn't armed with a Cup of Soda!

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Long Live the Orson Welles Cinemas

People Suck!!

You should have said "Me too" and whipped it out and pi$$ed on him.

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"If you have GHOSTS you have Everything" - Papa Emeritus II GHOST B.C.

They're getting militant I tell ya!

http://variety.com/2014/film/news/woman ... screenin...

The AFI Film Festival screening of “Mr. Turner” had theatergoers scratching their heads (and eyes) on Monday night when one audience member maced another in the face for asking her to turn off her cell phone

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Long Live the Orson Welles Cinemas

Yet another valid reason to install cell phone jammers in theaters. Patrons should not be placed in the position to have to ask others to turn off their cell phones. If the theaters jammed the signal people would have no reason to turn thier phones on during the movie.

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"If you have GHOSTS you have Everything" - Papa Emeritus II GHOST B.C.

Except that wouldn't help with the idiots who pull out their phone to play a game.

Plus, I think there is a place for people to have cell phones with them in the theatre - doctors, or parents who have their kids with sitters. They just need to actually be respectful, put the phone on vibrate, and leave the theatre to take the call.